Do you look at what others have achieved and wonder why you’re not achieving the success you want? One possible reason could be some sneaky habits in your mindset that stop you from achieving your full potential. Here are 3 common ones and how you can overcome them.
If you’re walking into a job interview thinking there’s no way you’ll ever get hired, you’re less likely to get the job simply because you don’t exude confidence. Similarly, if you’re on a first date thinking the other person will never like you, it shows up in your demeanour as, “This is a waste of my time.” End result: your date might think you aren’t interested in them at all.
Self-doubt —> Self-sabotage —> Self-fulfilling prophecy. People pick up on your self-doubt based on the way you act, and respond accordingly.
The way to overcome this is to make positive affirmations a habit. It might seem silly telling yourself in the mirror that you’re smart and gorgeous at first, but over time you’ll start to believe it. Create a list of your skills and achievements that you can look at to boost your self esteem. Think about the things you are telling yourself and if you would ever say them to a friend. If you wouldn’t, you’re being too harsh on yourself.
Even smiling when you don’t feel like it can improve your chances of achieving a goal because it can lift your mood and help you have a more positive attitude. You’ll be able to find solutions more easily instead of fixating on the problem.
Overcommitting to a bad decision
You might have heard of the “sunk cost fallacy”, which is when a person continues to make decisions based on previous investments of time or money. For example, continuing to eat a meal even though you don’t like how it tastes because you’ve “already paid for it” is not a rational decision because you can’t get the money back when you finish the meal or not. In fact, there might be other real costs you haven’t considered – like feeling sicker to your stomach or more unhappy after eating the meal which makes you worse off.
The idea here is to cut your losses.
Get comfortable with losing something whether it is money or time. If you don’t like the cake, let go of the thought of the money you’ve spent and focus on other cake options next time round. If you don’t like the concert or show you’re watching, don’t waste your time. Walk out like a boss and do something else you enjoy more!
Less planning - more doing
Planning and making checklists isn’t the same as taking action. Planning is important, but too much planning can also be a form of procrastination.
People also usually underestimate the amount of time they need to finish a task. This means if you do want to achieve a goal, you should take action as soon as you can so that you can start learning and make progress towards your goal.
For some people this means setting a time limit for themselves, such as aiming to finish one part of a project before lunchtime. When you’re done, cross it out on your to-do-list. Your mind will naturally shift to a positive attitude of finishing up the project once you get the ball rolling.
Other times it could be that appointment you know that’s good for you, but you’ve been putting it off because life got in the way. Book that appointment and mark it in your Google calendar so you’ve committed to taking the next step.
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